My wife and I finally got to my parents around 7:30 pm after driving from Tampa. My mom was asleep for a while, but she was up later. Even though I was here less than 3 weeks ago, it was a bit of a shock to see how much she has changed. She's not eating very much, so she is noticeably thinner. She had a can of Ensure protein drink, but otherwise nothing else. It's hard to tell from the photo, but her skin color is grey and her eyes are milky and no longer have the sparkle they've always had. She has trouble breathing and it's hard for her to talk or relax.
My father says she started to deteriorate about a week ago and she is getting weaker every day. She still has strength to get up and walk around, but she is not as steady, so she needs some assistance to make sure she doesn't fall. She gets restless and she'll want to walk around the house, which makes it harder to breathe.
Later in the day, she has more trouble breathing (known as Dyspnea) and she gets a bit panicky. She was asking my father to take her to the hospital. "They must be able to do something for me," she said. My father is making sure she gets her pain killers on schedule. But at this point, there's nothing a hospital can do for her. Most of the time she knows this, but when she has trouble breathing she gets scared. I can see the fear in her eyes and hear it in her voice.
It's hard to say how much time she has, but I suspect it's days or maybe a week at at most. My father, Mike and I have talked to our brothers and sisters so everyone understands the situation.
My mother is on morphine to keep her comfortable and she is taking a sedative to sleep at night. She is lucid and knows what's going on. She told my father she is ready to go.
Update:
Below is a photo from last year with two of her grandkids and a photo from April this year. The difference in the last six months or even the last sixty days is shocking.
- End of Life Resource Center: Dyspnea
- Palliative Care: Pulmonary Symptoms (Dyspnea)
We love you Mary! You are in our prayers. God's angels have reserved a heavenly spa for you.
Blessings to both you & Bob and your entire family.
Sue & Dick
Posted by: Sue & Dick McNally | June 27, 2006 at 05:04 PM
Mary, Mary---forgive me this, please. I just knew you would pick our Big Holiday to leave us. Well, Happy July 4th to a wonderful Canadian. You are back Home safe and sound and comfortable at last. It's just the rest of us who will have to suffer now. Love to Bob and family
Zona Williams
Posted by: Zona Williams | July 04, 2006 at 11:58 AM
Good-bye,dear friend! I know you are in heaven with the rest of the angles! You will be a hard lady to replace in the T.I.M.E. tournament, but with you on my shoulder, I will do my best!
God Bless and Keep your fantastic family in His embrass!
God Bless the Urlocker Family
Posted by: Sandy and Jerry Hoeft | July 04, 2006 at 04:29 PM
Thankyou Mary for being my friend. I love you and know you are in Heaven today. I hope you and John get together up there. Love and prayers to all the Urlockers. Pat
Posted by: Pat Gilligan | July 04, 2006 at 08:11 PM